Sadness surface

Appearance is just the blue
feeling rounding me.
Not to be ready for life
or the world is my emptiness.
Love belongs to non sense road
and sorrow is my strength.
The dirty memories
arise to build dark solid
desperation and fears,
deep above the sadness surface
destroying forces are fighting
against my will to survive and live.
What would be the result?
We’ll never know, it depends on God will.